Why Pushing Yourself Usually Doesn't Work (And What Actually Does)

Have you ever wondered why your self-improvement efforts don't stick?

or Why when you push yourself to get the positive benefits and outcomes of new habits or practices, it fails?

Most people aren't successful when they try to push or force themselves into change or new outcomes. When you try and fail, it doesn't mean the drive or desire isn't there or that you're a failure - if I had a nickel for each time I've heard that I'd be rich - it just means there was too much resistance. 

You know the cycle:

- You push yourself to make positive changes (going to the gym, meditating, eating healthier)

- It becomes unsustainable

- You blame and/or shame yourself for not doing enough

- Rinse and repeat...

I've been there countless times myself. I've heard similar stories from clients and friends over and over again.

Like the image above states, you can't shame yourself into change. You have to take a different path...but which path?! Let's explore that together...

**Here's the truth if you've fallen into this pattern: It's NOT your fault.**

Forcing, pushing, or shaming yourself into positive change doesn't work for long-term sustainability—and it's not because you weren't doing or trying enough.

When you approach change this way, you're physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting yourself by pushing against **invisible resistance**.

This resistance isn't weakness or lack of willpower—it's your body's survival systems being uncertain about unfamiliar changes. Your subtle body - the subconscious mind and the nervous system specifically - are designed to protect you in this way.

That invisible wall you keep hitting? The setbacks? The forgetting? The shame spiral?

It's REAL, not imagined, and it's all coming from your nervous system's natural response to perceived threats—and none of it is your fault!

You absolutely *CAN* love yourself into healing and lasting change

Here's what I mean by that:

1. **Define what you want** with as much detail and clarity as possible

2. **Support your nervous system** with calming reassurance to repattern it to feel safe with the changes/results you want

3. **Notice when your thoughts/feelings** retreat to the 'familiar discomfort zone' and redirect to facts, not feelings - or an updated narrative that's aligned with the outcome you want

4. **Be supported in community** to reduce overwhelm, dysregulation, and fatigue while you make efforts to heal, change or improve [bonus that this will also help you overcome setbacks, find resources easier, be accountable, and celebrate your wins!]

Your body can become your #1 self-care tool when you understand how to work with—not against—your natural healing and survival systems.

When you understand how to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it, sustainable change becomes possible without having to push, force, or shame yourself into the effort or outcomes. I'd love to show you how!... 

**Are you ready to transform your approach to healing?** If so...

Join us this May to learn how to Support your Nervous System:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1349977782889?aff=oddtdtcreator

Learn more about Healing in Community: https://michelleclinard.com/self-healing

Check out my YouTube video for more details on the process: 

Schedule a call with me to inquire about your specific needs, struggles, and desired outcomes...and how to finally make it happen for yourself (but not BY yourself!): https://tidycal.com/selfhealingsupport/coffeechat