Emotions May Be Keeping Your Nervous System Dysregulated

Feelings can compound, or build up inside us, when we don't check in to give ourselves a chance to process periodically - and that's when they can get problematic, unruly, overwhelming, and even take over our body/life.

I used to struggle to even know how I felt. I knew I was usually anxious and the most commonly identified emotion I had was anger or frustration but that's because those were the two 'safest' emotions for me to feel, not because I wasn't feel ALL THE THINGS.

I was a walking avalanche of stress and emotions waiting for a place to happen much of the time, just one little thing away from snapping at someone, blowing a gasket, or breaking down in tears or sobs.

I cried for everything but didn't really feel "sad". I know now that those tears when I felt ANYthing were my nervous system trying to regulate me in the only way it could at any given moment.

I avoided my feelings as much as possible, too, because I didn't want to feel them. Feeling feelings felt threatening to my wellbeing, my ability to function, and my livelihood because of how hard it was to function in the wake of my feelings.

But that coping strategy unintentionally buried me under my unprocessed emotions until I was so deep I didn't know how to get out. I coped this way at times in my life where I HAD NO CHOICE but to not have feelings in order to survive. It was necessary at some point, but this way of coping was aligned more with survival in the past rather than healing in the present or thriving in the future. It was no longer helpful and, speaking for myself, it was limiting and driving me further into discomfort and dysfunction.

Breaking the pattern of emotional dysregulation and always being on the verge of having emotions overflow started with 'naming my feelings'. I learned that approach took some of the power away from my feelings and gave it back to me. Once I named them, I supported my nervous system to feel calmer until I got through the feeling and sensations associated with the feelings.

This process consists of noticing stress/emotions/discomfort, naming it as best as you can, then supporting your nervous system through it until you feel calm, centered, and relaxed.

Learning this means creating NEW ways of responding to stress/distress so you can create new outcomes and break the patterns and cycles that you keep looping in and out of. 

But naming feelings seems fairly simple, right? Well, my nervous system was so dysregulated that even that was close to impossible. I literally could not clarify what I was feeling, it was too overwhelming. I had to start small with naming my feelings with things like "I feel feelings", "I feel too many feelings to name", "I feel like my chest might burst", "I feel shitty", and whatever I was able to describe in the moment.

 

Often, I would get clarity about how those feelings LATER. How much later, you ask? Well hours to days to weeks later. Sometimes those feelings coming up much later feels 'icky', like we shouldn't be hanging on or reliving them. If they are feelings that need to be shared with others, it can feel like bringing them up much later can be 'threatening' or 'not fair to the other person'. Those beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that come up are rooted in your subconscious and nervous system patterns that were formed through past experiences and depend on the circumstances, making them highly subjective.

I know that naming your feelings can feel scary but it can help you take your power back and process emotions so you don't carry all that heavy emotional baggage around in your body which can lead to chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, inflammation, and symptoms.

Naming them can be helpful but it's not all you need. It's also necessary to address emotions at a somatic, or body-focused, level by supporting or reassuring your nervous system into a calm state because while emotions are not physical things, we all experience them through our physical body. Emotions absolutely influence our physiology and biochemistry, which means there is a direct connection between physical and emotional health. This is an essential part of processing emotions MORE COMFORTABLY and without getting swept away by a flood of emotions. 

Clarity about your feelings, getting used to naming them, and learning how to support your nervous system through them are all much easier, more effective, and more sustainable to practice with when you are supported instead of trying to figure it all out on your own. That's why I created the Self-Healing Support Community...so you can learn, be supported, ask questions, get answers, and stop wasting all your time/energy on anything other than taking care of YOU (and all the other stuff you have to do in a day!).